Its like always looking over your shoulder
Paranoid of getting caught, in the mud, in the sin, in bed with the enemy.
Its begging for forgiveness from the forces of good and the forces of evil. Once every morning and once every night.
Its dancing with the devil. Bending your own rules little by little until it leaves you shattered.
It is putting yourself aside completely for as long as possible. Only to follow with sin so selfish you cannot look yourself in the mirror.
It is being broken seconds after the greed. It is being reviled moments after mercy.
It is demanding the eternal everlasting all powerful God of the universe To step off his thrown so you can be king of your realm just for a moment.
Yet his grace…
Yet his grace is like diving into a cool pool of water When the heat of the sun seems unrelenting.
It’s the sound of many voices singing his praises. Blending in a joyful noise. Like the voice of God is falling on your ears.
Its like finding your way home again after being lost at sea. Sunrise after years of darkness.
Its carrying a burden to the point of being utterly destroyed. Then Him lifting your downcast head and smiling upon you.
Its not in your own strength but His. Not in our power at all could we be saved.
“Your will not mine.” Spoken by our savior. Spoken likewise by my own heart again and again.
No matter how many times I fall… Yet his grace lifts me again.
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